<3

Sean is such a sweetheart. He bought me a ring from Tiffany and Co that is beautiful and he has just been spoiling me in love. I'm starting to remember who I am again, and it's great. Hopefully everything will start coming together this week and my life won't be so up in the air.

Sean and Maya, because they're just that cute.

...More later

Changes

Last weekend wasn't anywhere close to what I had expected it to be. Regardless, I handeled everything decently well and held myself together without falling apart until I got home.

I've come to the conclusion that I am still in denial that my birth mother is dead and have only been dealing with it apparently while intoxicated, or asleep. Hopefully in time I will be able to explore what is really going on with my emotions regarding her death, but for now it's just not possible. I loved meeting Kristen though, we definitely had an instant connection. She is the perfect sister... I really couldn't ask for more.

After visiting my mother's grave Kristen and I saw an angel in the sky, and she was missing her right hand... just like my mother. It sent chills down my spine. Here is a picture of the angel, shes facing with her back to the camera:

As for camp, the weekend had it's ups and downs. I bear napped brown bear and carried him around with me all weekend, it was hard giving him back to Kayleigh but oh wellll. I adore her and he is hers now. All of TR 08 carried our willed animals around and I swear people in Crossville though we were crazy, but we didn't care. It's tradition. I suppose going back to camp as a visitor was just shocking to all of us. I'll be back a counselor next summer though, so I did my best to deal, haha.

Exhaustion

I got maybe an hour of sleep last night and I'm finally slipping into bed at this sketchy Days INN with Hayden and Emily. Today was definitely go, go go, but I loved every minute of it. I've missed camp a ridiculous amount and I'm ecstatic to be up here. I'm going to pass out so I will finish this tomorrow sometime.

I bear napped brown bear, he is with me tonight. I feel whole again. Haha.

Reunion weekend is finally here

and I couldn't be more excited.

Not only am I seeing my TR girls, and spending some much needed time at camp, I'm also meeting my birth sister and my aunt for the first time. I'm pretty much a nervous wreck right now, but hopefully I'll relax a bit once I get up there. Today has been stressful, but I'm almost done packing. My flight takes off at 7 am, fmlll. I'm probably just going to stay up and chill in the hot tub.

I bought some new dresses dresses, a 16gb Ipod touch, and more make up. When I get back I'm going to get my hair trimmed and shape it up a bit. If you can't tell already I'm working on some much needed changes.

If you need to get a hold of me message me on facebook/myspace and I'll give you the number to the phone I'm using this weekend, my service provider doesn't work up there :/.

Wishh me luck <3.

It's been a long time

since I have written.
I figured a new post was necessary.

Michael and I are done for good. I won't be mentioning his name anymore past the post, I am finally ready to completely move on. I have spent too much time, too much money, and too many heart broken nights on his selfish ungrateful ass. I need someone who appreciates me for all I have to offer, and he really couldn't care less. Michael brings out the worst in me, and I deserve better. I can't be with someone who uses my weaknesses and insecurities against me, you know?

So, starting over. I'm going to start leasing Justin from Courtney, going downtown, and going to school. I will continue to make a lot of money, and love every minute of it.

PLUS, I'm going to reunion weekend on friday, I am totally and entirely PUMPED. I'm buying new dresses for it tomorrow, I can't wait.

"I come to this place to find myself,
It's to easy to get lost in the world."